I feel bad its been a while since I've blogged - I guess I don't understand people - but I am trying to understand myself better - I think its like that song, and I don't know who sang it "the devil inside" - we all have that devil and its just trying to get out. And the Bible didn't say life was fair - Look how Jesus suffered and died, I am so grateful He did, but He didn't do anything except tell the truth - so surely for Him life wasn't fair.
How do I feel about supporting people who REFUSE to work - in a very real sense - I feel "Hell no" - then I remember how I drove poor Paul to bankruptcy because of Me - and then I feel bad - I feel people shouldn't be rewarded for making stupid mistakes then waiting for a government handout - but then again that debt was absolved from him, which was mine.
Bernie Madoff's victims - well I feel sorry in the sense that these people were paying taxes on money they didn't have, - and I will give them that - however, they were greedy and should have known that if the market was paying 4% - how did they except this weeasly little man to pay 10%?! Nothing in life is free and anyone that tells you otherwise is full of bullshit.
I am still worried about Bill - that hole in his foot isn't any better - and poor Dot she still isn't any better either.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Proverbs 17-22
I am doing good - if I look back about those posts about Wesley's diagnoses I would probably be surprised I wrote them - but hey thats how I felt and I wrote about it.
I have found the reason why you want to be like this:
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones - Proverbs 17-22.
We have a lady in our office, that I believe is truly living out the second part - I was very close to M. - but I wasn't - I realized how she was - and I had to pull way back, almost to the point of not having a friendly relationship with her - I don't know what she is bitter about and hateful about but she is - and I would love to take her out to lunch for her birthday but I don't want to be sucked in, not again. I realize I am far from perfect - but her issues with the office are hers not mine - I am taking the "three monkey" approach - see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil - at least the most I can.
Tonight I get to leave on time - and I am going to get my hair cut, I'm happy about that - and then tonight is the "chicks and sticks" meeting at Centerville Library and I am so excited about that - tommorow is Bill's second foot surgery and Dot's lung test - and Wesley's ear appointment, poor little one had a ear infection and he still isn't doing better - we took him to the doctor on 2/6 - our 10th anniversary! Then on Saturday we have a softball practice at 11- I hope it's nice because if it is I will take Wesley and we can go feed the geese - if not - I'll go and hope to stay warm - :) Then on Sunday at 3:00 we have another practice! April truly loves softball - she is a sweetheart - although when it is 9:00 pm and she wants me to find her something she totally makes me mad - uh oh...you go look for it.
The other night, Tuesday I was going to throw the kitty litter - well don't hold your cat box by the handle - it isn't strong enough, the box fell on the kitchen floor putting about 1/2 of the mess on the floor - so I throw all the garbage, cleaned that up - decided to wash the floor - did it - and went to put in some milk in the frig and I dropped the tea - lol - on Thursday as I pulled up I thought to myself "I am not washing the floor tonight" - well guess what the booger did - he dropped grandmas iced tea all over the floor - lol. Daddy cleaned up and cleaned that up! Wesley is getting braver and bolder - he just throws his leg up on the couch and climbs up - lol - its hard to believe both my babes are getting bigger.
They are both great kids - April is in the schools production of Beauty and the Beast - she is playing the old woman/enchantress/ and silly girl part 1 - that along with chorus, student councel, dance keeps her pretty busy.
I have found the reason why you want to be like this:
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones - Proverbs 17-22.
We have a lady in our office, that I believe is truly living out the second part - I was very close to M. - but I wasn't - I realized how she was - and I had to pull way back, almost to the point of not having a friendly relationship with her - I don't know what she is bitter about and hateful about but she is - and I would love to take her out to lunch for her birthday but I don't want to be sucked in, not again. I realize I am far from perfect - but her issues with the office are hers not mine - I am taking the "three monkey" approach - see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil - at least the most I can.
Tonight I get to leave on time - and I am going to get my hair cut, I'm happy about that - and then tonight is the "chicks and sticks" meeting at Centerville Library and I am so excited about that - tommorow is Bill's second foot surgery and Dot's lung test - and Wesley's ear appointment, poor little one had a ear infection and he still isn't doing better - we took him to the doctor on 2/6 - our 10th anniversary! Then on Saturday we have a softball practice at 11- I hope it's nice because if it is I will take Wesley and we can go feed the geese - if not - I'll go and hope to stay warm - :) Then on Sunday at 3:00 we have another practice! April truly loves softball - she is a sweetheart - although when it is 9:00 pm and she wants me to find her something she totally makes me mad - uh oh...you go look for it.
The other night, Tuesday I was going to throw the kitty litter - well don't hold your cat box by the handle - it isn't strong enough, the box fell on the kitchen floor putting about 1/2 of the mess on the floor - so I throw all the garbage, cleaned that up - decided to wash the floor - did it - and went to put in some milk in the frig and I dropped the tea - lol - on Thursday as I pulled up I thought to myself "I am not washing the floor tonight" - well guess what the booger did - he dropped grandmas iced tea all over the floor - lol. Daddy cleaned up and cleaned that up! Wesley is getting braver and bolder - he just throws his leg up on the couch and climbs up - lol - its hard to believe both my babes are getting bigger.
They are both great kids - April is in the schools production of Beauty and the Beast - she is playing the old woman/enchantress/ and silly girl part 1 - that along with chorus, student councel, dance keeps her pretty busy.
Our Daily Bread 2/12/09
February 12, 2009
Learning From Lincoln
ODB RADIO: Listen Now DownloadREAD: Proverbs 3:1-8
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. —Proverbs 3:6
The day before his 52nd birthday, Abraham Lincoln left Springfield, Illinois, to become President of the United States. With the threat of civil war looming, he said goodbye to the friends and neighbors who had come to see him off. “I now leave,” he told them, “not knowing when, or whether ever, I may return, with a task before me greater than that which rested upon Washington. Without the assistance of the Divine Being who ever attended him, I cannot succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail. Trusting in Him who can go with me, and remain with you, and be everywhere for good, let us confidently hope that all will yet be well. To His care commending you, as I hope in your prayers you will commend me, I bid you an affectionate farewell.”
Lincoln’s reliance on God for guidance and strength reflects the instruction of Solomon: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6).
On this 200th anniversary of Lincoln’s birth, we celebrate his kindness, integrity, and courage. And we can also learn from him how to face a daunting future with confident hope in the Lord. — David C. McCasland
Into His hands I lay the fears that haunt me,The dread of future ills that may befall;Into His hands I lay the doubts that taunt me,And rest securely, trusting Him for all. —Christiansen
Living without trust in God is like driving in the fog.
Learning From Lincoln
ODB RADIO: Listen Now DownloadREAD: Proverbs 3:1-8
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. —Proverbs 3:6
The day before his 52nd birthday, Abraham Lincoln left Springfield, Illinois, to become President of the United States. With the threat of civil war looming, he said goodbye to the friends and neighbors who had come to see him off. “I now leave,” he told them, “not knowing when, or whether ever, I may return, with a task before me greater than that which rested upon Washington. Without the assistance of the Divine Being who ever attended him, I cannot succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail. Trusting in Him who can go with me, and remain with you, and be everywhere for good, let us confidently hope that all will yet be well. To His care commending you, as I hope in your prayers you will commend me, I bid you an affectionate farewell.”
Lincoln’s reliance on God for guidance and strength reflects the instruction of Solomon: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6).
On this 200th anniversary of Lincoln’s birth, we celebrate his kindness, integrity, and courage. And we can also learn from him how to face a daunting future with confident hope in the Lord. — David C. McCasland
Into His hands I lay the fears that haunt me,The dread of future ills that may befall;Into His hands I lay the doubts that taunt me,And rest securely, trusting Him for all. —Christiansen
Living without trust in God is like driving in the fog.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Good Monday Morning
Well time sure does fly when your older....lol.
Tommorow I have to go get Wesley's birth certificate - go to SSI - be there for his speech therapy - I was beginning to have second thoughts about Dr. Hobbs qualifications/but he seems to be pretty solid from what I've read online. Molly gave us some great ideas for Wesley's care - I would love to have a EEG done to see if he is having seizures but I don't know exactly how we go about getting a referral to that - and we are still back to the fact do we have to get a new pediatrician.
We found out today that Bill is going to have to have surgery again on his foot - this time to sew up the hole, hey I don't know if it is normal if you have a whole in your foot for two years - but maybe the doctor should I have sewed it up before now? I wish it wasn't on Friday the 13th - but we will do what we have to. I just hope Aunt Marie postpones her surgery - or else finds some place else to go - or we are going to have some bed issues - lol.
Working on a document production and once Carolyn gets in I am going to go and recycle some shredding and go back to shredding - I can see one corner of that office - and let me tell you that that is wonderful!
Tommorow I have to go get Wesley's birth certificate - go to SSI - be there for his speech therapy - I was beginning to have second thoughts about Dr. Hobbs qualifications/but he seems to be pretty solid from what I've read online. Molly gave us some great ideas for Wesley's care - I would love to have a EEG done to see if he is having seizures but I don't know exactly how we go about getting a referral to that - and we are still back to the fact do we have to get a new pediatrician.
We found out today that Bill is going to have to have surgery again on his foot - this time to sew up the hole, hey I don't know if it is normal if you have a whole in your foot for two years - but maybe the doctor should I have sewed it up before now? I wish it wasn't on Friday the 13th - but we will do what we have to. I just hope Aunt Marie postpones her surgery - or else finds some place else to go - or we are going to have some bed issues - lol.
Working on a document production and once Carolyn gets in I am going to go and recycle some shredding and go back to shredding - I can see one corner of that office - and let me tell you that that is wonderful!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursday
Okay - I have to remember why I decided to call this blog "learning to have a gentle heart" - because I am surely not living up to the expectations.....
My current supervisor has made me very mad, questioning my time etc. - and I don't feel that she has done this to the other people she supervises. Why should I be the only one that is singled out out of a office of 40? And how come she assumes I am not going to put my time in there? I wish I could say I have never fudged on time - and maybe staying 7 minutes and counting it as 15 minutes is a fudge - but I have NEVER not put my time in there.
I have to learn to let it go - and not treast her so hostily or icily....but I'm not going to kiss her ass either.
My current supervisor has made me very mad, questioning my time etc. - and I don't feel that she has done this to the other people she supervises. Why should I be the only one that is singled out out of a office of 40? And how come she assumes I am not going to put my time in there? I wish I could say I have never fudged on time - and maybe staying 7 minutes and counting it as 15 minutes is a fudge - but I have NEVER not put my time in there.
I have to learn to let it go - and not treast her so hostily or icily....but I'm not going to kiss her ass either.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Well
Yesterday I looked and saw this psalm - on my blog
I lift up my eyes to the hills- Where does my help come from?My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. - Psalm 121
I went and you tubed it - because I know I have heard this song before....I found the Bebo Norman version - but it wasn't the right version - so I googled it again today - and it is
Praise You in This Storm - Third Day
My mom wrote me a nice email - and I am sure she meant well and maybe I read more into than what she wrote - but basically she wants me to focus all my attention on Wesley - and forget April - but then again maybe that is a feeling I got - and I am sure that is not the way she intended.
This is going to be a journey for us - but in no way shape or form am I going to forget about my April - she is the love of my life also - she does some crazy ass stuff - but maybe that makes me love her a little more.
I lift up my eyes to the hills- Where does my help come from?My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. - Psalm 121
I went and you tubed it - because I know I have heard this song before....I found the Bebo Norman version - but it wasn't the right version - so I googled it again today - and it is
Praise You in This Storm - Third Day
My mom wrote me a nice email - and I am sure she meant well and maybe I read more into than what she wrote - but basically she wants me to focus all my attention on Wesley - and forget April - but then again maybe that is a feeling I got - and I am sure that is not the way she intended.
This is going to be a journey for us - but in no way shape or form am I going to forget about my April - she is the love of my life also - she does some crazy ass stuff - but maybe that makes me love her a little more.
Wednesday
Here it is - two days to the weekend - yipee!
Wesley was so much better yesterday when I got home - usually he appears to be zoned out - but last night he came and held his hands for me to pick him up. He also went and picked up a oatmeal snackcake wrapper, Miriam had just had one - brought it to Grandma - and was like "hey get me one" - so that might be a good sign also.
Wesley was so much better yesterday when I got home - usually he appears to be zoned out - but last night he came and held his hands for me to pick him up. He also went and picked up a oatmeal snackcake wrapper, Miriam had just had one - brought it to Grandma - and was like "hey get me one" - so that might be a good sign also.
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